Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
