just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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