My nipple is on Facebook.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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