I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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