I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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