Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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