Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
