I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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