'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize