My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
