Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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