Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
