so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
