I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
