It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
