Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
