So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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