Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
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So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
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We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.