i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..