so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?