i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
