I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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