do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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