You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
