nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
