I'm so fucking centered right now
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
