About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
