am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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