well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
