omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Randomize
