I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
