When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
