last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
