I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
