who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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