I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
