my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
