By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
