Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
