I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
