Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I have feelings that need drinking.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Randomize
