why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
