never play flip cup with pint glasses
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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