My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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