I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
