just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i've created a new STD.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Sorry about my life...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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