Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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