She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
