You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
