The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
