Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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