I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
