I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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