You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
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Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
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Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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