Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Randomize
