So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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