with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize