Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
