Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
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He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
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She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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