This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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