The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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