yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
