me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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