Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
