Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
