Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
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How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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