The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Randomize
