um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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